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Pretty Woman (1990)
IMDB rating: 6.60
Plot: Vivian Ward has found a way of living by working as a prostitute on Hollywood Boulevard. When she runs into the prince of her dreams, who comes along on his wild horse, she first does not recognize him as her saviour. The prince, a ruthless and wealthy businessman by the name of Edward Lewis, does not know that she could be more than just a girl from the sidewalk, but he changes his decision after the first night with the beautiful stranger. Her being the first person in a long time who could surprise him, Edward can slowly feel the light at the end of the tunnel. He is on his way to become a better person, whereas Vivian has got a new chance to start over again.
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buy Pretty Woman and instant download
Directors: Marshall Garry
Actors: Gere Richard,Bellamy Ralph,Alexander Jason,Hyde-White Alex,Elizondo Hector,Randal Jason,Applebaum Bill,Greene Gary,Gallo Billy,Comedy,Romance,
Is there someone I can truly speak to about suicide?
I am not a diagnosed teenager with ADD, nor do I cut myself. I am not crying out for attention. I am a 30 year old male with a loving woman, but my desire to wake up tomorrow diminishes a little more everyday. Somehow, I make her cry at least once a week, and yet she holds on to me like I’m the prize of the century. Anyway… I have a wonderful rope, about six feet in length, that fits snugly around my neck while leaving enough slack to anchor it just about anywhere.
If I have enough room, I’d like to speak a little about my situation. I had a hemorrhagic stroke when I was 26, disabling the left side of my body. I have struggled HEAVILY with depression my whole remembered life. I have a felony theft that occurred the same time as my stroke, and just tonight, I got a summons for shoplifting sleeping pills (try to guess why..), which is just humorous to me, as you’ll find out in a few sentences. I have people that care for me more than they rightly should, but I just want to go to sleep, and stay there. I am ambivalent as to whether or not I should finish this letter, or just put my new shoes on, walk a mile into the "park" down the street, and hang myself. I’m not throwing a pity party for myself, I just don’t want to do a hand written letter telling everyone why I did not have the strength to finish life on God’s terms. But I feel a minor duty to at least leave a bread trail for Krys, my mom, Jon, Rob, and my siblings, ranging from 7 to 22 years old. I have tried self inflicted salvation in the past, my most recent being in April, 2009. For all of you that are thinking a bottle of aspirin will do the trick…. It won’t. You’ll wake up the next day, and puke a bucket of pink stomach lining, in addition to having the worst headache of your life (kind of ironic considering it’s supposed to kill the pain). believe me, 80 fuckin aspirins And five percocets didn’t do the trick.
I have decided on the noose. hundreds years of tried and true results are hard to ignore. Now, I can’t tell you the exacts or specifics of why I am so determined to die of my own accord, but I can give the ones that really make me hate myself. I am callow. I am crippled, and can no longer operate the way I used to. I am lonely, because I’m afraid to open the dark cellar doors of my mind to even my closest of friends. I am a kleptomaniac, I steal for no reason, whether I need it or not. I hurt the people I love constantly, most times not even meaning to – but a dog doesn’t understand why you stepped on it, it just knows it hurt, people are the same I think. I Don’t consider myself stupid (at least there is that), but I am foolish beyond repair. I have weird fetishes that I cannot bring myself to admit, even on an anonymous blog with a make shift yahoo account. I let my emotions rage uncontrolled, whether anger, apathy, sorrow…. They all flood forward without a way to restrain them.
I see strong people walking about, minding their business, and I cry openly, because I was never a good person before I was broken, now I’m just pathetic – seeing somebody do what they’re supposed to be doing makes me hate myself, because what is so natural in most people was never installed in my synaptic OS. I feel like Gollum, from the Lord of the Rings. I’m just a pitiful wretch that people stare at. Like a bug in a box. I’m so depressed right now. It comes in big, whooping waves that crash upon my fragile sense of self worth like a tsunami on some poor coastal city 7,000 miles south. But I have no red cross. I have no hand outs. I wouldn’t take them if I did.
My problem, I believe, is that I want to die. I felt the same way when I had a nice apartment, a pretty girlfriend, money in the bank, and a decent car. Money is not the reason of my discontent, in fact right now, money is the reason I have that nice rope. Money is a means to an end.
I guess I’m rambling on a bit, but it’s therapeutic to vent your malaise, even if it should go unread.
Don’t get me wrong, if I was 100% pure death magnetic, I wouldn’t be writing this. I’d say on any given day it’s 40/60 suicide/survival. Today has been a 90/10 from the get go, and I guess by shoplifting the pills I would never have used anyway, I was looking to push myself into a mandatory suicide. And just go figure, the cops were actually really cool. Which again made me hate myself. Here these fine young men are serving a purpose of righteous glory by protecting and serving their fellow man, and I’m like a fuckin rat, pilfering away my shiny treasures until the inn keeper pushes me out with a broom. That’s it. I’m done. I do mean this seriously though… IF I am around tomorrow or the next day, I would like to talk with somebody that has a similar modus operandi, if nothing more than for comfort of not being alone. What I don’t care for is the standard "life is beautiful" response. I know it’s beautiful. I have found moments I consider to be
Feel free to email me; I think I get how you feel. Right now the only thing keeping me alive is that my dad just died and I don’t want to leave my mom. I’m a shitty person, but I’m what she has left, so.
Molly | Feb 06, 2010
If you need anybody to talk to, man, I’m here for you, just e-mail me and wait for my response. I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Really, though, there’s just no reason to die, and if you’re look for "salvation" or whatever, that doesn’t happen if you kill yourself, because you seem to be in your right mind, because it seems like you’ve put a lot of thought into this. Killing yourself would just be an affront to all those who love you, all those whom you love. I’m serious, though, I’ve been there, I’ve had friends commit suicide. Nothing good comes from it. I mean it, anytime you have trouble, just hit me up, bro.
Mussman | Feb 06, 2010
250 Anacin won’t kill you either, but i had caffeine jitters for days.
it can get better if you find the psychiatrist and the right meds for you.
Unfortunately, that still doesn’t mean easy. There is one thing i CAN promise you – if you kill yourself, by whatever means, no matter what sort of suicide note you write, "Krys, my mom, Jon, Rob, and my siblings" will feel guilty. Each will think they could have, should have known, could have saved you if they worked harder, read your mind, called back when you didn’t answer the phone…
a million things like that.
i can also tell you that i tried 3 times, and was really made at the first failure. Now ( 20 + years later) i am glad I failed at it – their are things that are important to me, especially my husband and my dogs. I wish i could give you an easy answer ( in any direction) but the best i can do is tell you that some days are easier, some are harder. One day at a time, one minute at a time is just what you have to do sometimes.
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oh, yes, you right very well. no joke. it would be a great service to other depressed people, doctors and maybe even your self to keep a dairy about your thoughts and feelings.
nickipettis | Feb 06, 2010
I am glad that you can still find beauty in life. I am not going to tell you that I know exactly how you feel, because everyone is different. I do, however, know what it’s like to be so consumed by depression that death sounds pretty nice. If you need to talk, you can talk to me. I don’t know how you feel about religion, but I will be praying for you.
carrie b | Feb 06, 2010
Life isn’t always beautiful – though it has its random moments – life is a struggle; sometimes torturously so. I’m not a doctor, but this sounds an awful lot like long-term clinical depression, and like any illness, it requires treatment. Likewise, kleptomania is a disease – a compulsion, *not* a character defect – and it’s treatable too. Whatever your oddities or fetishes, etc. – there is nothing you could say that would surprise a doctor. No doubt you have your stuff like the rest of us, but you also have a treatable medical condition, just as if you had any other kind of illness – and there is no shame in seeking help. Cancer patients don’t get down on themselves for not being able to cure themslves without medication, and if your illness is leading you to even consider hurting yourself, how is that different from any other terminal condition? The good news is that unlike most terminal illnesses, you have an opportunity to turn this around.
You’re not a worthless, crappy person – for one thing, a bad egg would not even think twice about how his actions would affect other people, but you clearly feel very bad about things currently beyond your control. Crappy people are not known for their consciences. Your girlfriend, your family, your friends love you. Even if you don’t trust your own judgment, please trust theirs enough to know that they love a worthwhile, inherently good man, and do not underestimate the hell they will live in for the rest of their lives if you die. Please do not force them to endure that. They will never recover – and yes, I’m speaking firsthand. If not for you – for them – please get help.
You talk about the strong people you see walking around, but the fact that you’ve been able to endure so much pain for so long says you’re pretty damn strong too. And whether or not you believe it, somewhere inside you, you have hope that your life will improve – because you’re writing this letter. Please go straight to your local hospital – to the ER if necessary – to see a psychiatrist and start getting the care you need.
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Thomasine | Feb 06, 2010
